Understanding loss...

Some time ago, Ram Dass wrote a letter to some parents who had lost their child. He empathized with their suffering as unbearable and devastating, yet Ram Dass’s message was to show how their existence and their daughter’s life and passing were part of a Divine order. That is to say, sometimes we are used for greatness in ways that appear as great suffering; however, that pain dares, in the purest form, our existence to evolve in our capacity to love.  

This past weekend, my daughter and I read, The Boy and The Rabbit, a children’s book about loss. The book was about a little boy who was devastated because the tower that he had just built with such effort got thrown over by a flock of birds. A bunch of animals came to the rescue, offering their opinions, and they came up with many solutions to fix the problem. The boy was not interested in any of it until a rabbit came his way and sat by his side in silence. The boy, after a while, turned happy and angry and sad, and then he started talking and expressing his cute little thoughts. He cried and laughed and was eventually able to cope with his loss.  

Last weekend, my dear friends lost their newborn. I cannot understand how it is even possible to face the world after such a tragedy. Devastation daggers existence and any state of being; however, it cannot overrule love.  

I felt short-handed and almost like the animals from the story, trying to fix my friends' pain. But I think the best thing any of us can do for someone in any kind of pain is to join our hearts and listen. Even at a distance, sit down and listen and empathize with the agony of a mother and a father who have lost their baby boy, or anyone who has lost their loved one.

I understand what Ram Dass refers to when he says we are being used as instruments of Divine order even through our most tumultuous situations.  
 I’d like to join him in this thought and invite us to see our tragedies, our suffering, our discontent as opportunities for all of us to bring our hearts together, drop the intellectual, social, economical, personal or racial differences, and understand that each one of our hearts melts, bends, bonds the same. That the only universal truth that can bring us closer together is love, even through pain. 

May all souls who leave this plane rest in love.


Pamela Wasabi.

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