A letter to my future lover

Dear Lover,
  • I like to groom myself, wear sexy clothes and put on my eyeliner, and you will see that happening, but for our first encounter, I’m not waxing.
  • When I become insecure or scared, my accent becomes thick and I forget simple English words.
  • When I lose it, I hide in the closet of my mind. I numb down, I don’t eat and I don’t write. However, writing is the only thing that saves me.
  • I love being active and being outdoors. I love walks and I expect the same from my partner.
  • I tend to skip dinner.
  • One glass of wine is all I can handle.
  • I like having 3-hour sex dates at least once a week.
  • I also like doing nothing in bed while my head is on your chest.
  • I like to hear you telling me how your body desires me. Trust me, if your body talks, it's because it is being reciprocated.
  • I have no problem being with myself. I don’t consider myself single, I call it being open.
  • I don’t have a healthy romantic relationship model.
  • I struggle being someone’s partner. Fear grips me, telling me I have to be someone else.
  • When in fear or rage, I use sex as a shield.
  • When aligned, I also use sex as one of the most precious vehicles to connect with the divine.
  • I fall in love too fast, I fall in love with everything even with your flaws.
  • My daughter has to approve of you.
  • I love being surprised from my back, held by my waist in your arms and have you kiss my neck just below my ear.
  • I love playing with your hair.
  • Silence scares me when in your mind you have distanced yourself from me. However, I have no problem not hearing from you for days when our hearts still bind.
  • Please, don’t be cold with me, don’t avoid me, don’t ghost me. If you need space, just ask!
  • If you say you are going to show up and you don’t, I can’t be intimate with you. I won’t feel safe.
  • And lastly, I can’t control if you want to stay in a relationship with me, but this time if you stay or if you leave, I won’t blame or abandon myself.

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